can't start a fire.

its tough getting back "out there." ha.

like you are supposed to make every guy happy by knowing what he wants from you. what he expects and what he wants in a girl. but all i want to do is be myself and have that be enough. the other day i had the thought of what if i don't find someone.

someone who can actually love ME for the rest of our lives. then what?

i am willing to compromise some. to change if its for the better. but i don't want to lose myself trying to be everything everyone else wants me to be. there's always the struggle of... well, what if who i am now isn't the best me?

i just feel like my personality is pretty engrained at this ripe age of 23. i'm never going to be quiet. or less opinionated. or not be sarcastic. i'm just not. and i do not think i should have to apologize for who i am.

but i know i can be nicer. and learn some self control. i can make myself better but i can't make myself be someone else. can't and won't and shouldn't have to.

so, point being: if you don't like me by now, then you probably never will. i think i can accept that. but don't make me out to be less of a person because you don't like who i am. or what i say. that's kinda shitty.


thats it, i think.