hello. i love you.

well i didn't realize so many people had blogspots. because this is so, and because blogging on facebook tends to get me in trouble, i am going to try and post on here more. but i always say that so... i also realize that i desperately need to change the layout. its been an entire year since i left for spain and 8 months since i've been back. so you're thinking "move on." but its hard, friend, to move on from such an amazing experience. also because i have nothing exciting to blog about now like i did then. sigh. such is life. i'll get around to it. i just find blogspot sort of hard to manage... 

lately i've been thinking about happiness and reading some books on it. its been mainly buddhist literature and thus their view of happiness is a bit different than christianity but interesting and inspirational none the less. in respect for the buddhists of the world, given my minute knowledge on their religious teachings, i will refrain from trying to summarize them. but i will share what i have heard others say. 

my yoga teacher gives a little meditation before class starts about whatever little inspiration and what intentions we should set for class (which rarely happen for me because i'm too focused on how hard these poses are) and she talked about happiness the other day which came on the absolute perfect day for me. she basically said that it's a choice and that you have to choose to be happy, no matter what your situations. that you have to let go of the "if only..."s.  like "if only i was 20 lbs thinner i'd be happy." it seems so simple to say we are the only ones who can control if we are happy or not but its a profound thing to try and live out. 

the other thing i hear often is from a favorite radio host of mine, dennis prager. he dedicates an hour on his show (once a week i believe) to happiness (thus its called the happiness hour) and he reiterates every time that it is our moral obligation to ourselves and to others to be happy. when we are unhappy, we bring others down with us. of course there are times for sadness and grief and anger-- appropriately displaying these emotions-- but overall, we are obligated to be happy. even if inside you don't feel happy, fake it. because its contagious. i also heard him say that its better to be a consistent 7 on a 1-10 happiness scale then to be a 10. because when you are a 10, you are bound to be a 1. in other words, have control over your emotions. if you let things dictate your emotions to be an extreme happy 10, then you're going to let things make you a 1. of course, i'd like to think there are exceptions for this as well. 

if everyone in the world acted happy, at appropriate times, in larger quantities, i wonder what the world would be like. i wonder what MY life would be like if i lived by these ideas. just choosing to be happy instead of upset. how much more positive it would make the people around me. if i just said, hey, i can't control that this guy in front of me is driving like an asshole, i'll just sit back and relax.

i'm reading a book (sort of, i go on hiatus often) called "the big questions." it helps you to ponder things such as "what is happiness" "what is love" "does god exist" "what happens when i die" etc etc. it doesn't give definite answers but leads you to begin to question these things, always continue to question them, and to search for your answers. the happiness one suggested you write down a few things that give you that happy feeling inside when you think of them. so when i'm feeling not happy, i come back to myself doing yoga in the midst of a beautiful scenery, drinking a cup of tea curled up to a good book, my time i used to spend with my grandparents, sightseeing europe, a great piece of chocolate, etc. etc. and poof, i have a smile on my face. its grand, really. if only i did it more often.

i also got the book "the art of happiness" by the dalai lama after a friend suggested it to me. haven't read it yet but i'll be sure to share any great insights :)