i take it back, i do have a little something to write about. but it probably won't be that nice.
a friend of mine brought this up today that sometimes christians give the shittiest advice. here are some examples:
"god is in control."
"you shouldn't worry about [it] because god has something good planned for you."
"it will all work out in his timing."
"everything happens for a reason."
etc. etc. i'm sure you've heard them all. i'm just sick of it. i'm sick of the spiritual goo goo ga ga bologna. when a friend is hurting how about:
"i'm sorry it hurts, i can't imagine. i'm here for you."
"yeah, that does suck, i'm sorry."
how about actually trying to give some humanly comfort instead of some lofty ideas about what YOU think god has planned for that person.
i was just reading some random girls blog about praying for her future husband/turning this guy she's dating into a christian. thinking if he's not a christian, it must be the devil's workings! and yeah, i've been there. for quite some time i tried to change a guy into something he wasn't. until i realized you can't make someone believe and follow something youre not sure you believe and hardly follow. well, besides that, you can't date someone all the while wishing and praying they were someone else. its not fair!
here it is: i'm over it. i feel like being a christian is the same fluff over and over. ohh look at this great new insight i got on this scripture (same thing, new metaphor). as ecclesiastes says, there is nothing new under the sun. it seems like even being a "vintage" or "post-modern" or "emerging" church/christian is fake. i can't help but feel like it is superficial underneath it all. like, we are doing this to reach the hip people and to look like we're doing things new and radically, and we serve starbucks and we use only macs. (i both drink starbucks and use a mac so ya know). but i just can't find the end. jesus has just become this idea to me that is either 1. archaic or 2. hip. he's lost his humanity to me. he's lost his luster.
there are so many more things that i can't continue to swallow. and i don't want it to seem like i am trying to tear apart all of christianity or cause dissension. i just needed to be honest incase people really thought i was busy every sunday for the past 3 or so months. i don't feel like i'm under the clutches of evil satan, i don't feel obligated to believe everything you believe, and i don't feel sad that i can't sit back and accept everything christianity says anymore. i feel like now i can be open to who god is-- beyond parameters and i can connect with him beyond worship songs and lengthy sermons. how that is, i haven't figured out yet :)
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4 comments:
Hey Lindsay, this is Nate...let me first say that it's good that you can be honest about how you're feeling towards God (capitalized). :-) Also, I've had this blog plugged into my google reader since it was your European one...you must get Google Reader it's the only efficient way to follow blogs!
Anyways, my comment. I have nothing "feel good" to say. I was in the same place you were for the past several years. About a year ago, I was even farther away from God then you are now. It almost destroyed my life. And then some things happened that were bigger then myself and I turned to God in prayer, not knowing what else to do. Nothing happened. I kept pursuing Him, sort of, out of confusion and desperation. I gave up. A short time later, God revealed Himself to me through some "things" that I'm not going to go into detail about. But let's just say that I had no doubt that the Christian God was the one true God. I haven't been the same since. I didn't change everything in my life right away, but who I was 9 months ago is barely a shadow of who I am now. The Christian God changes lives. Period. There is your proof. Scientific and theological debates ultimately go nowhere. Trust me, I was caught up in them for years, trying to equate what I knew from science with the Bible. I don't even care anymore. Christ changes lives.
But other religions change people's lives too, right? From my experience, what I have seen is people change from the outside, using methods of extreme discipline to change behaviors and eventually change who they are. Christ changes Your heart, and everything follows later.
I can't promise that you will have some kind of experience of God in your life like I did. All I can tell you is where I have been and what I am sure of now. I hope you can find some answers.
...and also, I enjoy reading your writing. Keep it up.
I think you should just lay this stuff at the cross...
obviously kidding.
but i am curious about one thing you said, "i don't feel obligated to believe everything you believe, and i don't feel sad that i can't sit back and accept everything christianity says anymore."
who is 'you' and who is 'christianity'? and i swear i'm not trying to prove anything, i seriously want to know...
jesus muhammed buddha h christ! ...smith.
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