lesson learned.

you know that feeling when the one thing you want most in life slips away from you.
walks away.
runs away.

its the worst feeling in the world.

an empty feeling like nothing will fill the void.

and you remember the last time you felt like this. and the time before. and the time before that.

and then you think "oh yeah, this is what i was afraid of. this is why i was apprehensive in the first place."

but once again, its you who's hurting. you wondering how do you pick up the pieces. how do you keep living life with this gaping hole in your heart. how do you function as only half of a person?

and that one treasured thing you had? you gave it up. and even though some things are replaceable, this is not. never ever will you get it back.

lesson learned. yet again. never let yourself love because it will only be thrown back in your face.
and you'll be mocked.
and laughed at.
and in the end, it was not better to have loved and lost. you would rather have never loved at all. because when you never love, you never know what you are missing. you never know this feeling.

the worst feeling in the world.